عقد اللؤلؤ

هذه قصة المطر:

قبل أن أنام
أغمضت عينيَّ في سلام
أغلقت جدران فخذي
على ليلة بائسة،
و أسدلت ستائر المسرح
على بطولة زائفة،
لم أحسب أن السماء ستطرق
زجاج شرفتي،
تفزعني من نومي،
تمسك يدي،
و تسحبني تحت المطر،
ارتجف عريانا إثر البللِ،
أدرك بحواسي
ما لا تراه عيون البشر،
آثما، تغسل خطايَّ
لأبصر ملكوت العالم الأرفعِ،
أرى حواري تحمل لآلئ،
و تهم بالسقوط
علها تسحق العشب تحتها
و في الحشائش يكمن لها
غلمانٌ و جنود،
كلما دنت حوريةٌ
أمسكوها، يقبلونها،
و يبثون شهوة الحياة
في مخلوقٍ من الخلود،
ضدان يجتمعان
فتذوب سماوية الوجودِ
و يبقى عقد اللؤلؤ
أسيراً لكتبية التراب
غنيمة للورد
و فيئا للندى
فتبعث الشمس
ناعي الحور،
يطرق أبواب الفجرٍ
يملؤ قوارير الحياةِ
دمعاً و آسى
أي صبحٍ ممطر ذاك
تنعى فيه الكائنات ذاتها
ضاعت
في حفلة المطر
عويلها أفزع السهاد
من عيوني،
أفيق على مسرح المعركة
بجانبي ملائكية الوجه،
نبضها ينضب،
و أنفاسها مجهدة،
كانت تمطر البارحة،
ألم تلحظِ فوق شفاهك العذراء
شيئاً من البلل،
و تفجرت خلايا جسدي
ينابيعاً من المطر

ليفينج ستون، سكوتلندا
الأحد 1-8-2009

Prophecy

I’m waiting for the prophecy. Listening to the silence, silently, to show respect to it. It’s just the heave of trees, rain dance while it drops in joy, and birds singing. I keep my eyes on earth all the time, seeking for the fallen star.

I’m alone and lonely. It’s echoing through the empty walls of my cells, my heart, my chest, my room, my block, my city, my country, and the entire world around me. Oh, is it the world around me, or am I surrounding it? That may explain the echo! As well, it may explain my loneliness. However, it could be good to listen sometimes to yourself while you talk, to realize how stupid you talk.

People continually change, starting from atom level up to mental level. We may change for the best or the worse. We may progress or regress. We may give life once, we easily die. We change for sure. When I review my changes, I figured to have been changed a lot through previous years, either passively or actively. Ok, let’s review some changes. When I say we, I mean me and myself, as to respect the difference between my spirit and my mind. So, I’m getting more isolated, more silent, and less socially. One nice friend told me that these are signs of prophecy, I’m getting more prophetic, and soon I’ll be prophet. It has been three weeks abroad, without any social contacting. I’m just being more listening, thinking, and deciding not to make any friends.

I am not sure of what I feel. My other dear friend told me to get marriage soon. I’m ruining myself by my own, staying alone like this. So, it’s me enjoying myself alone. I think Riyadh experience and atmosphere are stuck in my lower conscious and hunting me with loneliness. It tells me no body fits me, I’m alone because I’m superior to everybody else. So, Riyadh did the worse to me!

It’s very strange place to live in, because it’s a desert. Whom stupid enough to live in a desert? I chose to do so, 5 years ago. Now, my heart, soul, mind and I live in a desert. They are in a desert all the time even in Eden. It’s more like mental status. Is it mentality of being alone, more unique? Is it being more alone, safer? Is it not secured sensation all over my heart? Yet, I think no heart has left to me after 5 years experience.

I’m gravely sad to myself, ending up like this. Cry myself a river for being lonely.

Reviewed later on.

و الفجر

و الفجر

يحسب القدر أنه انتصر
خلفته وراء ظهري طويلاً
حبسته في أصابعي ترمي النرد
و تركته في قفص الشك وحيداً
حتى نزع القيد
و ثار
بدد الشكوك حابسأً إياي
أمام يقين الاحتمالات رقماً فريداً
استوحدني الليل،
قمراً دون النجوم،
بسمةُ أمام وجه العُبوس،
آهٍ
ليلي الطروب،
صار أبكماً
يضحك القدر فيه طويلاً
فتهرب الجواري الحسان
خوفاً
و تجف الخمرة فوق شفاه الكؤوس
فتجذب شفاهي..
و تنضب آبار الجنون في دمائي..
يحسب أني سأصبح غداً
خاسراً
وحيداً
و تضيء الشمس شعاعاً ذهبيا
على ضريح الشهيد
تمتص الدماء
فيصير الفجرُ
أحمراً
دموياً.
يفزعُ فيه السكوت
من سكونه،
فتضج ملائكة السماء
عصياناً
و ذهولاً،
ترفع رؤسها نحوي،
صرت بعد الدماء نبيا!
ينبض الكون وراء
وقع قلبي،
أمر الليل أن يمسيَ
فجراً
فأنسى
ذات يومٍ
أني كنت فيه وحيداً..

ليفينج ستون، سكوتلندا
23-7-2009

The Oven

I believe old Egyptian used a unique method in anti aging process, to keep their kings young. In same time, they used anti detritus secret method to save their corpses.

The best way to keep a raw meat is putting it in a freezer. The cold temperature plays an important rule to preserve raw materials. By saying raw materials, I include human being bodies. The best method to preserve them is inside the freezer, even for a corpse.

It’s unusual to meet patients here, in Scotland, below 50’s. Most of them are old, and partially still in shape. They keep enjoying their health in their last days. They eat red meats, consume alcohol, smoke, and have a lot of bad habits. Yet, the catabolism/destruction down process in their bodies is very slow. Because, I think, cold temperature suppresses that down. On the other side of the world, Saudi Arabia, It was rare to find patients above 60’s or 70’s. They usually suffer the worse pain ever to reach that age. And when it comes to death, they die miserably in pain and sickness. I don’t think the diet or life style participate in this as much as the oven, they live into, does. Hot, I mean extremely hot, weather we live with speeds up the process of aging in our bodies.

I would like to suggest an equation regarding the weather and age. Let’s assume the weather has a factor. For example, cold weather factor is (-0.25), while hot weather factor is (0.5). To calculate effect of weather over individual age we do the following:

Age + (the age × the weather factor) = Real age

Therefore, in Saudi Arabia, the equation goes this way for an individual aged 40;

40 + (40*0.5) = 60 years old.

While in Scotland, for 60 years old individual;

60 + (60*-0.25) = 45 years old.

So, a guy aged 40 years in Saudi Arabia is really older than 60 years old guy in a cold country. The age scale/factor/ratio may be adjusted later on to be more specific. So, the hot weather kills us slowly, silently, and roughly.

i need to review this article again.