Super Mario

It’s comforting to write in a blank paper. The feeling of no boundaries is taking over. This way I can overcome the illusion of being watched. It’s not clear why this particular idea disables me from writing, like I’m not doing anything wrong. However, the guilt sensation is implanted deep within my subconscious.  Still, the red line varies based on many factors, like being abroad. That’s why I rely on traveling to be inspired again. I don’t mean that Saudi Arabia has something against creativity. It’s probable that a negative atmosphere aborts the ideas from my little caring womb, I mean brain. Apparently, the practice of obstructive medicine is affecting me.

I’m trying to find a factor to blame for my recent flee. I’m not back to my optimal status, I’m just used to the new compromised condition. Living over the knife’s blade, where everything may collapse if I spill. To tell the truth, I just have been exposed, rashly, to the real world. Does it always have to be bad to be real? Does happy ending exist only in fairy tales? So, is it really stepping over a knife blade? I wish if life was just like a video game, were you die and restart from last saved point. Honestly, I deal with life in same manner. Yet, either I play easy mode or I’m an excellent player. I died only once.

I didn’t give up the idea of unreal world we live into. Yet, who’s punishing me? Also, is the guilt sensation a punishment oriented? I know that Adam and Eve action after eating the apple is feeling shamefaced for breaking divine order. I need to make it clear, that I deal with religion as folklore stories, as something lacks solid evidence. It’s nice to mention that the apple resembles the knowledge, or the insight. Thus, they figured out they were naked and started dressing. Why did they feel guilty in first place? Some psychiatric disorders based on the idea of being punished because of being loved by the punisher.

Anyway, as I’m afraid of the punishment, I have a glimmer thin thread of hope for forgiveness. Though, I’m not a sinner. It’s funny that last time I wrote, I asked for forgiveness and I do it here again. So, the feeling of fault is profound, why is that? Indeed, a part of it is due to my absence from my dear readers.   

In the end, I’m comfortable saying that I can stand and observe each sentence I wrote, as they hold a deep meaning and story beneath it. I wrote once in Arabic about being imprisoned inside a room. That room is surrounded by broken mirrors; all its four walls are composed of broken mirrors. I see my reflection for countless times, yet that’s a broken and disfigured image. I assume if that mirrors were intact, I would end up with paranoia personality disorder. However, I was broken. I hope I broke that handicap. I’m back, wiser probably, or more fool, more probable.  

Syria IV

The government in Syria is secular. Yet, there is an implied religion: Al-Asad’s. In Saudi Arabia, where they wrote Islamic quotes everywhere, here his holiness name (Al-Asad) is written everywhere. Wherever your eyes reach, there are his pictures, quotes, and instructions. The other parallel implied tradition is Islam. This has something to do with what Al-Asad did once he reached the presidential chair. He wanted to unify people under one them; being proud of Arabic history. Therefore, there’s a hidden instruction to praise Islam.

Wine & Cheese

Alcohol, most often, serves the purpose of stress relief. No wonder in western countries everybody is smiling. Anyway, it could be the relation between Jesus and wine. Mosques meant to serve the same purpose in Islamic countries, especially in Saudi Arabia. As it’s forbidden to practice any stress relief method, you name it: alcohol, Sufism, dancing, lusting, appreciating the beauty, living, or any other spiritual interaction with upstairs or downstairs contacts. Therefore, everybody is acting god, stuck with their anger in the middle of everywhere and nowhere. They’re very eager to punish their sinful worshipers. And when everybody is god and sinner, It’s really hard to understand how each one of them is the victim and the executioner. Moreover, the heat, we are suffering, is a suggestive factors that it’s not heaven where god excites, it’s hell. Let’s put it in the correct way again; they all are devils, god gathered them all in one inferno.

Homogeneous, similar, tunneled, and unipolar attitude and mentality is the main obstacle an individual meets in this community. Sometimes, I would like to add homosexuality, and any word with homo as a prefix, to the previous formula, like it’s a homosociety. There’s zero tolerance toward others, even between 2 different genders. Well, this is due to the god part inside each of us. I’m sure that the paranoia of each Saudi individual would be enough to make around 16 million gods walking on earth. Yet, don’t ask me how such humiliated people can have such a great ego? A child abusing to another child is usually initiated by an adult, or a third child who was abused by an adult. So, the idea is same in here, it’s a chain of ass kicking. Usually when I kick someone ass, and he can’t kick me back, he would look for anybody else to kick…etc.

You think that I’m exaggerating the reality! Ok, listen to me. It’s very usual for the god/man to knock you door calling you to pray, 5 times a day. If you don’t respond, then they would break through and take you forcefully to the mosque. It’s the normal function for god/man to control a female emotional, occupational, and financial status. The most correct and common belief among god/man is “I’m right no matter what”. They would eliminate, exclude, punish, and even kill you for being different or disagreeing.

Even those who claim to be liberal are under question. Most liberalism titles in here are due to religious stress, not open minded orientation. What a shame when a liberal individual would only ask to stop practicing freedom of thinking, speaking, and believing. Because, they think they again they’re the only correct stream and attitude. They remind me to some extent to Bush junior, either you’re with us, or against us. Though they’re liberal, they will never give up their previous religious orientation. Most of them would stay extreme as soni for example when it comes to shia or non soni.  To tell the truth, in many occasions I sense that liberal are just like religious men only with minor changes in dressing code. Because, Saudi mentality, regardless the ideology, can’t tolerate more than 1 color, 1 truth, 1 attitude, and 1 man rules at the earth, what lies below and fly above.

No wonder, Mohammed Bin Abdlwahab, the religious godfather of Saudi kingdom clicked the correct button. I can understand now his emphasize on the idea of 1 god, 1 correct belief, and only 1 way to be right. The correct way was following him. His main supporters were people living in deserts. While the main opposes were far away from deserts population. In France, there’re 2 things cheese and wine. In Empty Quarter, there is only one thing: sand. 

Driving, driving me crazy

While driving in Riyadh, I like to notice other drivers’ behavior. Beside the rudeness and harsh driving environment or battlefield, I observe another important behavior. Almost, everybody like to dig in their own battlefield, I mean noses. They do it in highways, traffic lights, or while waiting in parking, they do it alone, with their friends, wives, college, or anybody else. They just can’t resist the desire of digging for gold in their rotten noses. I could notice another irresistible habit while driving; religious people always keep moving their hands over their beard. Some people feel proud about mucus inside their noses, and some feel proud for having long beards.

In America, people in bureau, in streets, and everywhere are very helpful when it comes to blonde girl. The concept beneath that is strange, and I can’t really understand it, still blondes are very pretty, seducing, and to some extent they’re easy going. Yet, we may consider being blonde in there like a privilege. In Saudi Arabia, we reached the same level of thinking privilege wise. Considering the variation, here the attitude goes toward people with very ugly face characters, gloomy, a skirted thoubes/dress, and a long very long pony tail hair style, I mean pony tail beard. Religious people here has the same privilege blonde girls has in America. It could be due to their huge asses, and I mean religious men, since it’s very suggesting of a deep sexual experiment. Ironically enough, some shaved Egyptian doctors start to raise their plants once they arrive to here, as well you may notice some enlargements somewhere else.

Homosexuality and religious people is like a twin. I wanna specify catholic priests. They live under stress; they can’t marry or practice sex. I’m not sure of what they think regarding masturbation, still it’s not joyful doing it for life time. At one point, I’m sure they would explode and seek for a hole to dig. That leaded me to 2 main aspects. First, Saudi people may dig their noses in really a depressed trail to find a gold. However, I could notice some rich people do the same. So, beside gold, they may seek, like priests, for a hole to dig into. You can’t underestimate the stress Saudi population live under. Beside the conditions I just mentioned regarding the Catholics, there’re many other things; hot weather, strict community rules, and the thrill sensation of doing something prohibited. Second aspect is the trust we give religious people when it comes to our children.

I’m really forced to put it into this way; the only exposed white meat in Saudi Arabia is children. And poor religious men, they have to be face to face all the time with children, to teach them, behaving them, and raise them as a good Muslims. There’s that rumor of a test called faith testing/compromising, in that test, a religious man tries to seduce a young pretty lad. When the boy refuses, he passes the faith test. However, when he agrees to be fucked, he would join the holy community of beards.

Religious people don’t only drive their cars, they drive the community. Today morning I went to have a breakfast in a restaurant. I asked for music, like Firouz, for the sake of the lovely morning atmosphere. Alas, they all were afraid of MOTO3 to come and punish them. They looked terrified when it came to the punish issue. I think that punish consists of faith testing. In Saudi Arabia, you can’t practice the minimum freedom regarding your life. Starting from your appearance, passing through the times you go to bathroom, the time you do sex with your wife or potential one, and ending with the freedom of thinking and speaking.

Thanks to them, religion is like a market, offering and demanding. We’re globalizing Islam through them. If you need to be accepted in an occupation, we must allow them check your ass virginity or experience. Then, when you need a promotion, the longest your beard is, the biggest the promotion you have. Eventually, you need to be slave to them, in every aspect of your life. Your ringtones, your clothes, your manners, even your wife must not do sex and attend their female meetings. Also, you need to take your children to them, to test their faith. This way, we will end soon, like 10 years with a community of gays. No hard feeling my gay friends, I will correct it, a community of religious homosexual.