Criminal Mind

Sorry for being an hour late!

Blood has a distinctive smell, an attractive color, and special physical motion. It’s a sexy liquid, and very addictive. Therefore, once you get used to it, it’s not easy to detach from it. It’s not surprising that a criminal craves for victims over and over. What triggers a criminal’s desire for bloodshed? Researchers have been working for decades to establish whether offenders’ minds and genes are different from normal individuals’ brain structure. Are they the same? Indeed, a criminal behavior by its own is altered. Yet, can we justify the difference to not punish criminals? This can extend to the efficiency of punishments, but I may avoid it for now.

Shamefully, killing can be justified in various ways based on the race of the murderer. Therefore, special people may enjoy the luxury of mental sickness when they face a death sentence. It’s not my place to argue regarding the validity of research which explain the criminal mind. However, I will tell you that it has three pillars: genes, brain structure, and environment. I don’t like genetics; it shows that we are helpless. Oh, you’re gay because of gay gene. For god’s sake if there’s a homosexual gene, how could it be inherited over generations? Anyway, I think genetic evidence is just a latch attorney use it to lessen the client’s sentence.

There’s an amusing and important study conducted in 1973 called The Rosenhan Experiment. It questioned the reliability of psychiatric diagnosis. Five sane people presented to psychiatry hospitals complaining of symptoms of physiological illness. Then, they tried to convince the doctors that they’re normal. Unfortunately, the doctors and medical staff failed to recognize that.  Apparently, we have no problem judging people based on unreliable science. The beginning of such a criminal psychiatry was to discover any predicted psychopath individual. This way, we can limit, alter, or change the possibility of a criminal. If this is right, we should have discovered the preventive criminal psychiatry. But all we could do so far is retrograde detection. How can we manipulate a brain on psychological level so it would be less aggressive? Perhaps, to be better safe than sorry, we ought to just kill every psychopath! However, all the psychopath psychiatry leads toward being more merciful to those criminals, they’re different and helpless, so how to protect the community by killing them?  

What’s the problem if we just kill the killer? Is there any real way to correct that killer and stop another homicidal incidence? Does he/she deserve another chance while the only chance for another individual is execution? Prison, in usual status, is not an educational or rehab institute as it provides food and roof for free, and social rejection later on. The recidivism rate within three years after release reaches about 7 out of 10 persons. Usually recidivism is associated with psychopathy, therefore I question the efficacy of psychiatry approach and medication. Nevertheless, I don’t imply that Islamic punishment system is efficient, except for killing the killer.

To tell the truth, the trend which attributes such misbehavior a bit further from psychiatry is comforting to me. At least, they may explain the psychopathy finding to a structural variation. There’s an identical pattern in criminals that shows in PET scan in an experiment conducted by Fallon, (Fallon’s Scan.) This implies a miscommunication between two brain aspects: The orbital cortex, which is a part in the frontal lobe just behind eyes; and the amygdala, which controls the primitive drives of appetite and aggression. If the orbital cortex is damaged, or malfunctioning, it may manifest as a criminal or aggressive behavior where the id takes over. Such a finding may imply that for such a physical damage, we need a physical correction. I don’t support to cut hands or behead people, but prisons are just incubating more criminals.

In the middle of all the chaos, even if an individual is predisposed to be criminal due to genetic and brain alteration, would that individual indeed be a criminal? We need to add a third element: maltreatment in childhood. Nevertheless, this triad pattern can be found in criminals and non-criminal people, the field is still young. Anyway, this science may initiate a new law section, where we can excuse the criminals for their actions. I’m not sure if we’re going to blame the divine power which delivered this human being in this form. I don’t mean to start this dilemma. Still, if we are forgiving such people, why didn’t we apply the same scale on Hitler or other insane dictators? At least, in a previous entry we established some association or causation between greatness and illness. Until then, we should differentiate between who to blame and who to punish.   

I have nothing else to add

Appearances could be deceiving. Yesterday, 11-3-2011, I might be fooled by many exterior looks of people and superficial understanding of events. Beside my foolishness, it could be the longest day in my life. Despite all days are 24 hours long, which we spend a big deal of it sleeping, yesterday exceeded the 24 hours time.  I could prove that time is not an experience of quantitative value, 24 hours per say, as it’s the quality of what you pass through. Time is relative to the energy amount you spend on a particular moment. Back to E=MC2, which may explain what I mean, in the end there is speed, which consists of time and space. And for saving your time, I am not gonna tell you what events had happened, but the lessons I learned from them.

I may go a bit further and suggest that space is not as necessary as energy to time existence. I am not as brilliant as Einstein was, to formulate this in physical equation. However, if I spend more time thinking, and investing more energy in this topic, a conclusion may pop up in my mind. To tell the truth that what Einstein did, Energy is the higher form of mass (only masses which exceed the speed of the light square can be energy), and it always requires space and time to be existed. Anyway, a lot of energy was transformed in heat waves recently. Racism is the justification of maltreating others only because they are different. And it takes a lot of hate energy to be racist.

I am not over yet, bear with me for a minute please. I am sharing some experience with you. Saudi thieves are very chaotic. Regardless the theft, they aim to destroy and mess everything their hands or eyes reach. Specially, when they found nothing valuable to steal, they destruct everything else. You know, they act like very bold explorers. If the thief is poor, then it has something to do with finding out how middle, or higher classes do and life style. In the end, they reach the idea they can’t live this style, narcissism, so nobody else has the right to live it. Anyway, in my case, the chauffeur was injured and beaten, and nothing at all was stolen, except his wallets and car keys. For my surprise the car was standing still in its parking. That gives me a clue to: 1. those are not Saudis. 2. Most likely, it has something to do with personal revenge, like gambling, between him and people from same nationality.

To analyze or understand the stealer mentality we need to emphasis there is multifactor contributes to build criminal character. What criminal psychology tried, in last 60 or 70 years to establish, is predicting the occurrence of a criminal character in a normal individual. They suggested an association between anti-social personality disorder and criminal behavior. One criteria of this disorder, listed by WHO, is the incapability to experience the guilt feeling. Therefore, they are indifferent to punishment, and can’t profit from it. Other measure is gross and persistence attitude of ignoring social norms and obligations. A cause for all this mess couldn’t be found, especially with the lack of studies. To understand criminal mind more, we may devote a whole entry in next weeks regarding this topic.

Saudi thieves are nothing more than ordinary Saudi individuals. They live along with us, breath same air, inherit similar genes, learn exact manners, and acquire same traditions. I don’t wanna say that each one of us is a robber, lair, nor suffering of inferior look to oneself. But I am sure the thief discrimination toward rich people, and vice versa, is something in common between all of Saudis. Discrimination per say is not something related to Freud Psychoanalysis theory, or children abuse, or the stupid hot climate. It’s the fear and intolerance of the other. I was shocked when 13 or 14 years old boy talked to my intellectual friend, saying that Shia is the source of all evils in Saudi. I bet this guy wouldn’t hesitate to kill Shias or others if he became armed. This is not antisocial behavior, or psychopathy. It’s an attitude reinforced by the whole atmosphere around him which instructs him to be aware and cautious. No wonder when individuals are racist, as the government, in the first place, is the same.

To sum it all; first of all, the fact that I don’t hold Saudi ID has nothing to do with my mother’s nationality. The other rumor states that 2 or 4 Saudi men attacked the family’s chauffeur. I have to investigate that further, but I think it’s not true. Also, the fact that I changed my style and hair dressing doesn’t mean I am getting engaged soon, nor I’m influenced by Lady Gaga. The presence of an intellectual friend in my life is necessary to understand and analyzed the gossips around me. The last rumor, I’m raciest because my skin tone is fair, or coming from a higher class electa, is unfortunately true... I told you earlier, appearances are deceiving, and who could tell that I am racist? I have nothing else to add.

Super Id

I’m ashamed of myself. Again, when it was time to stand my ground, I just simply retreated and gave up. In Arabic culture, courage is only men’s theme. So, apparently for a lot of Arabs perspective; I may be missing one or more testis. Nevertheless, I believe women did satisfy the role of bravery, more than what men did. Sometimes, it’s true that women defend men. Despite that, females are so fragile, and males are too abusive. Regardless, Arabs have a hard time to apply what they say or think of. This could be applied to ideologies more, as it’s applied to races, and it is restated like this: Muslims, in general, don’t do what they believe into.

The argument is extended to define what beliefs are. Why do we disobey what we believe into? That means there is a conflict between the initial instincts, and the later teaching or orientations. This drives me to the main core point: is good intention something we are born with, or acquired later on? The model I want to use is Adam and Eve, they were wondering naked in heavens. Later on, when they ate from whatever fruit it’s, they decided to cover their nudity. In some explanation, the fruit was nothing more than symbol of knowledge. So, they were born naïve, and when they learned, they acted based on their knowledge.

I am failing to prove my point. As I tend to believe that, humans are born with a built in drives to do good things. Apparently, Freud, and religion disagree with me. So, how to approach my aim? In philosophy, there’s an argument regarding what comes first, information or theory. I did propose my idea, and I would start to gather information to support it. I did introduce you to my main difference regarding Freud’s Pleasure Drive Principle. Maybe, afterward we need to discuss the modified principle: Beyond the Pleasure Principe.

The other point I would suggest, beside the built in good intention drive, is Super Id. I mentioned few weeks earlier that; the more the super ego suppress the id, the id responds extremely once the super ego disappears. Therefore, if an individual, called ((Ex)), spent first 18 years in Austria, where Freud did live, and later on our experimental human, Ex, moved to Saudi Arabia, where Ahmed lives. The ego equilibrium would be disturbed, in the sense a lot of what was accepted socially, in Austria, would be rejected in Saudi Arabia. This holds its own value for me, as Ex would be confused for a lot of conscious apparatus would be deported to the unconscious. This would formulate the super id, which is the state of absent super ego, as it’s displaced by super id. Ex would express everything, people wants to hide, publicly.

What has happened to Ex simply is the absent of higher moral models. I don’t mean that Austrians are not morals. However, Ex doesn’t know about morals in Saudi Arabia, therefore, Ex is rebelling against all the models. Ex current status would be explained by some psychiatrist as anti-social behavior. The other trick, I want to emphasis on, is as super id is formulated in the absence of higher moral model, it presents also in the presence of very tight and not reachable moral model. This is the problem of me, and my current generation, can we fulfill what old people want us to do? They consider everything we do is super id, as they reject it, and we do it in front of them. The other problem in super id, we consider whatever we do as a correct action.

I am not convinced by whatever rubbish I just had mentioned. However, this is a project worth working on. The main idea has something to do with the situation I’ve been through 5 or 6 weeks ago. I had a practical exam in children medicine. One of the stations was examining a young girl heart. The doctor, with a long beard, was sitting away from the bed, and he just gave me the instructions. I was confused, should I really touch this girl? I asked him about her age, she’s 11 years old. And from first gaze, she was disabled mentally, and attended by a maid. The picture formulated in my head; the children medicine department, is making advantage of this young, helpless, and neglected girl. I wanted to refuse examining her, but with all shame shall follow me, I did examine her. Muslims, either students or doctors, don’t do what they believe into.

My Wet Boxer (Full)

It’s sexy, isn’t it? Freud, in his pleasure drive principle, suggests; human pursue pleasure, and avoid pain. Nevertheless, I suggest that female’s pleasure is pain oriented. Therefore, females prefer jerk and mean boys. (Jerk appealing principle), according to Ahmed, suggests; lovely kind boys are too gay, so girls don’t like practicing pleasure with them. On the other hand, girls would attract simply to jerks. The reality that Freud, concentrated in his principles on male perspective, means he was a jerk, thinks inferiorly of females. So, girls were attracted to him. Besides, he was just prescribing cocaine for his patients. I bit that’s together as sexy as my wet boxer is for a lot of females.

Is sex a luxury on necessary? First of all, I need to discuss: do relationships in whole world is similar, or differ based on other aspects? The base line is the desire of having sex is universal. The variation comes from the suppressing and permitting factors. I tend to believe that religion, or fear of later life punishment, has no business to do with a naked guy and girl in a dark room. Despite Gandhi’s attempts, in bahmacharya, to achieve celibacy, still he did share bed with 16 and 19 years old NAKED girls. I can understand they, the girls, didn’t practice sex with him as he was considering himself as their mothers. Anyway, the fear governs and controls us the most. It could be the fear of having a child, being married, social rejection, or religious police. To make it easier, the fear level enables or disables our sexual actions. Nevertheless, horror sensation is very sweet. In the end, if having sex is a need, then everybody would do it. Since, only few people may enjoy it, it’s a luxury.

I didn’t bring anything new. Yet, the harder the super ego suppresses the Id, the Id would respond more aggressive when the super ego absents. Therefore, more enabling factors for sexual desire mean less expression for that desire. Since, there is no stress has been practiced over the Id, and then there is no vengeance process takes place between the 2 competing apparatus. Also, more disabling factors result in multi responds for one single situation. Let’s put it in an easier way, a Saudi religious man would deny and disapprove any homosexual or heterosexual behavior in public or between unmarried couple. Later one, he would not mind doing sex with underage boy, as long as they are in the farm without monitoring.

In most occasions, girl would accept the sexual act if it’s based on love. So, love comes first, then sex. This could be true where the body holds more value than the emotion does. It’s some sort of emotional insecurity.  In general girls are taught to protect and cover their bodies, while boys don’t mind exposing everything. I remember seeing a naked guy rides a bicycle in Cambridge twice or thrice. Anyway, love, itself, is the mania stage of a bipolar disorder. So, everything is high; happiness, wellbeing, energy, thoughts, and only sleep is low. Also, there is over spending, impaired judgment, substance or self abuse, and easily distracted. So, you need to have a lot of money to fall in love. As a result you have to have a lot of money to have sex. And I didn’t mean to put 3 haves in one sentence. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s not prostitution. But it’s more or less of offering and demand.

After the mania stages, the depression starts. Life, which was full of colors transformed in one night to a grey lifeless sky. And what we all are eager to do is suicide. I think the high rate of depression and suicide attempts along young Saudis is due to failure of love. Do we not know how to love?! Never mind, the depression phase will be full of remembering the misjudgments we did we were maniac. Regret, sorrow, and feeling of being stupid would hunt us as we did all of stupid stuff. The sleeping pattern would change also; you used to spend all the night awake talking and maybe pleasuring each other. That reminds me of insomnia patterns, early morning insomnia with depression, induction insomnia with anxiety, and maintenance insomnia with mania.

At the depression stage your love has 3 options:

1.practicing sex to compensate the depression.

2. Practicing sex but you can’t get rid of the depression.

3. No energy for sex.

In first option you may survive. But the rest 2 are judged to be failed. Thank you very much for you time.

Lineless

Everybody should not feel no pain. Nobody could understand the previous statement, without reading it again. However, the medical text books are full of such. Not and no go away making the sentence this way: nobody should feel pain. What a bit of a twist to reach the conclusion. Still, it just took few seconds, but for me it took a long 7 years. (I bid most of you go to read the first sentence again)

I’m lost in drafts. There is a lot to speak of. In same time, there’s more to learn about. Sometimes, speaking a lot my compromise your learning time. Imam Ali says: “Who talks a lot, mistaken a lot.” Therefore, I’m obligated to tell you there is nothing important to gain in the next lines. It could be just more mistakes. Maybe, this entry will be completely line-less.

In general, doing mistakes is a troublesome, specially, when you are trusted on lives. Medical approach in general is very cautious. And it becomes more alert when you consider side effects of medications. No need to mention, death could be a side effect. This is very ironic; it could be restated to be: “death is a side effect of living!” Forget about this as I don’t want to fall in the trap of cancer and its misery. So here is the formula; more conservative treating approach, less mistakes. Nonetheless, I could notice that I’m very aggressive healer.

I have to apology, last week entry was very long. I don’t wish to make this one as the previous one. I am digressing from my main stream to introduce you to the digression. Noticeably, AlMa’arri, a blind man from Syria/Iraq, was very skillful in this art. Yeah, English folk, diverting from the paragraph, article, or whole book main idea is an art and very crucial art, which as far as I know, couldn’t be utilized by Shakespeare. However, the blind Arabic philosopher could practice it, more than a thousand years ago, in his native language, and I’m here to practice it in English regardless the nonsense I write. Just one more idea of digression, Simpsons could be good example.

If I were a doctor in The Simpsons, it would be normal for my crazy treating approach in that wonderland. I treat very aggressively, aiming to minimize the pain and suffer. After 7 months, when I start my internship, this is going to be a big time problem with any supervisor doctor. Doctors, remember Freud was prescribing cocaine for his patients. Currently, he’s one of the most referred to and respected figures in medical schools. Don’t think that I plan to give cocaine or morphine, to make my patients feel no pain, nor I plan to be as great as Freud is. Nevertheless, I’m soft hearted, and it’s not easy for me to start with less effective medication to be in safe side, and wishing it may work. Doctors, as long as you can’t feel, don’t assume.

Freud assumption/theory/idea divides the brain into 3 functional apparatus: the id, ego, and super ego. What I fancy the most is the super ego, as mine is super inflated. Freud started initially his ideas on the conscious and unconscious parts of the brain, we always try to explain the later terms, like super-ego, according to the initial terms. Therefore super-ego is the conscious, and all I could provide as a definition is examples; morality, perfection, and control. Narcissism is one important pillar, beside the father/ideal model image, and social manners to form the super ego. Also, the confliction between the father image and Oedipus complex is like the interaction between the super-ego and id. However, why did we assume that the father image always wins? Indeed, being child and helpless is a good answer. The construction of such model is very strong and very hard to question. Still, it could be all just a medical mistake!

To be continued 

My Left Leg

Morphine

This is the happiness formula:

Pain è Brain Stimulation è Endorphin è Happiness

Therefore and ironically no pain, no happiness, this is not logical approach but biological. This was my trail to get rid of my depression mood. I pursued pain and started thinking: how? I thought of being emo, eating too spicy food, seeking for girls to practice sex, or do some Shia performance like injuring my head or striking my chest. However, I settled eventually to do some walking, 2 km/day is fair enough. Really, I could feel pain, very severe pain, and the weight of the nail inside my left leg was like bearing the whole world inside of me.

I could feel a rapid improvement in my mood. I was listening to some music in the walking session. The listening changed to be enjoying, and just over thinking of the beauty of that music. Walking in the desert along with too furious cars felt like flying without wings between Paradise Rivers. Until I slipped into a river, I mean dumpster, a car run over me. In Saudi Arabia, all drivers consider the street as their house pathway. They have an owner statement on it. The arrogant mentality is really unexplainable.

I lost my conscious to find myself later on in the ER, in my university hospital. They told me a car smashed my left leg, again, my poor broken leg. Some wiseass intern there decided to do an urgent MRI for me to evaluate the extent of the injury to my muscles and nerves. As a medical student, I received a special treatment there; I didn’t have to wait in any queues. So, in matter of seconds, I found myself in the chamber of the MRI. For those who are away from medical fields, MRI stands for magnetic resonance imaging, you can find the rest about it in Wikipedia. However, you have to know that this machine is very magnetic and sensitive to metals. Once they operated, it started producing strange sounds, as usual, but it got more intense. I could see some electrical thunder and sparks, and all sudden the machine went dead.

Another loss of conscious, this time the pain was excruciating in my left leg. The worst pain I could have felt ever. During my recovery period in the hospital, I heard too often some strange voices. Main attitude of that voices were sexual. Manly voices were oriented toward asses in first place, and then they diverge to many different parts. Feminine ones were directed toward skin tone, height, and body builds. I kept hearing and hearing and I was sure it wasn’t the pain killer act in my brain. This is real, my left legs started to hear people thoughts. And all the hospital thinks about sex.

After few months of being discharged, I collected many observations of people thoughts. It deserves to mention that I was sitting once outdoor in a Starbucks. A young lad, say 13 or 14 years old passed in front of me. He was cute and wearing a nice short. Seconds later, a religious man passed, I heard his brain saying: “oh, what an ass!” So, even in community, one main theme of my observation was sex, either homo or heterosexual. The other was hypocrisy; nobody at all tells what really his/her mind thinks of. They like to kiss asses, suck penises, and lie on you telling you, your ass/penis tastes the best. It’s like a disease, an urge which they can’t stop. Many observations were indicating that, one of them happened to me when I took a history from a patient. I introduced myself as a sub intern with a big smile over my face. For the rest of the conversation my left leg could hear him only saying: “dump ass!”

The happiness equation which I mentioned in the beginning can’t be reversed as:

Happiness è Endorphin è Brain Stimulation è Pain

However, even the correct form of it couldn’t serve my leg after (reading the minds) shock. I think this fact, realizing what people think of, took me to a higher level of pain: the hurt of being lied on. It’s an agony now and it’s getting worse because nobody can understand what I pass through. Also, nobody can stop being hypocrite and telling me his/her mind for real. This place is covered with a thick sheet of dust, dirt, pollution, and ill intentions. 

The credit for the picture goes to pink eyes.

** i need to review this once more

Illness & Greatness

Open your eyes to the new reality, we’re sick because we're ordinary, and healthy people. Greatness always comes hand in hand with oddness. I can’t call it mental illness as I will prove those mentally ill were sharp edge figures. Therefore, being mentally ill is a part of greatness..


Before I start, I don’t wanna make this as a teaching session but I have to explain some stuff. Depression, low mood beside other symptoms, and mania, elevated mood, are mood disorders. Mood disorders come in episodes followed by a normal, to some extent, functions. Autism and Asperger disorders have more persistent nature affecting an individual. This is an important note we have to keep in our minds as we analyze the following characters.




I’m very proud to start with Abraham Lincoln. This man is considered to be the greatest USA president, though he was poor, and from a poor family. He was sick, simply depressed. He had many sad events through his life, which I wanna pass through some of it. Those sad events can be called stressor, and I would like to consider them as factors to participate in his depression. Stressors would be classified into 2 categories; love and death.



In his love life, first love story he had, when he was 26, ended by his lover death. A year later, he met another girl and arranged to marry her, but they had changed their mind. After that, he sent her a letter asking her to come back, which she didn’t reply to. Eventually, he met Mary Todd, a rich woman from rich family. We think she was biploar patient. However, they get engaged when he was 31, split up briefly before the wedding party. Almost 2 years later, they met again and get married.
After marriage, I would like to introduce the death factor. The couple had had 6 children. 4 of them died during Lincoln life, and one died later after Lincoln death. Most of his children died at a young age. This affected big time the relationship between the couple, as well as each of them individually. In addition, Lincoln’s mother as well passed away when he was 9 years old.
“Lincoln was contemporaneously described as suffering from "melancholy," a condition which modern mental health professionals would characterize as clinical depression.” The previous events I just had mentioned, beside many others, support this idea of depression. Yet, the depression attacks could be limited to the time after trauma and sad events. However, by the end of this paragraph, I think we established that Lincoln was depressed.


“Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton may have suffered from a type of autism, according to experts.” That’s based on the idea of both scientists showed signs of Asperger syndrome. Asperger syndromes patients show limited social involvement, failure in show emotion or empathy, repetitive and restricted patterns of behavior, interest and movement. Still the thinking, learning, memory, orientation, and language are intact, in contrast to autism. Yet, some researchers argue that Einstein, for example, had a good sense of humor.


The syndrome is named after its recognizer, Hans Asperger, an Austrian pediatrician. Asperger himself is believed to have the syndrome. “Asperger also called his young patients [who had Asperger syndrome] "little professors", and believed some would be capable of exceptional achievement and original thought later in life.” Still, as mentioned earlier some argue with this concept and oppose it.


Sigmund Freud, the pioneer in analytic psychiatry, was morbidly anxious, and addicted or abuser to cocaine. Cocaine wise, he believed it was a good treatment for many medical and mental disorders. He recommended it to some of his friends and family. Some researchers think that Freud psychoanalytical theory was an outcome of his cocaine usage and abuse.


As I started this entry with great man, I would like to end with a similar man to some extent, Adolf Hitler. Before I start talking about him, I would argue that this man established many of the new world characteristic, boundaries, and led one of the strongest nations on earth for a while. Also, the idea of him ended his life by his own, suicide, establish the concept that he was mentally or physical ill. We can exclude obvious physical condition, so only mental illness is left.


There’s a strong suggestion of him being addicted to methamphetamine, a brain stimulant substance. There’re other signs of being Asperger syndrome patient, as well. His mother death because of the cancer largely affected him. That could be the reason he didn’t consume meats. He was afraid of having a similar fate as his mother had.


Hitler had strange sexual practices, such as urolagnia. This is in easy English means peeing on the other individual's mouth during intercourse. That may explain all of the 3 women, he had relationship with, attempted suicide.


The list is too long. We can count many others such as Van Gogh, the artist with incision ear, is believed to have anxiety, depression, and some trait of autism as well. Charles Darwin, Thomas Jefferson, and Mozart, are other members to join the autism list. John Kennedy was sex maniac. I hope this can’t hide the truth: the greatness is a mental disorder, as all those people had other mental disorders. The other way to look to it is, we, normal people, need to be sick in the first place, to be great people.

P.S: I hope one day I can establish a data base and statistically proven idea for this all entry.
P.P.S: this is the continuation of french coffee


Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln#cite_note-31
John Kennedy 1
John Kennedy 2
Jhon Kennedy 3
Einstein and Newton
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_van_Gogh
Adolf Hitler
Frued
Historical figures sometimes considered autistic

French Coffee

French coffee, or a french kiss? They both have something in common; the shock when they touch my lips. I could imagine the taste of her tongue inside my mouth every time the coffee sips inside it. The picture would be complete if this kiss or coffee takes place inside a french car. However, It's being a long time since my last entry. I've been occupied by many thoughts, events, and business. Currently, I have 3 agenda are going up in my mind and real life.

First, I study psychiatry for now. It's very amusing and interesting, as I start to see and understand the world in a different way. However, it rings in my mind a bell to an important issue; are those patients are sick, or just extraordinary? It's very stressing to deal with patients who are considered ill for majority, while I think they're not sick. To tell the truth, the majority of our diagnosis approach is based on general population regular state. I think they're not sick due to three reasons. In the beginning, I want you to imagine a world with 95% of its population with mental disorders such as depression, mania, or schizophrenia. The rest of the population is normal, or what is considered to be normal for nowadays measures. Would the 95% think of us as psycho? Would they treat us to be just like them, normal people? To answer this question, I invite you all to visit the psychiatry ward in my hospital. Second reason is the facts of many figures are known to have a mental disorder. I would like to mention some of them in next update. Still, a friend asked me, are those people creative despite or because the disorder? That's a smart question, yet I'm not sure how to answer it. I hope to find an answer in the next few lines or from some of you.

My second agenda is my leg. My left leg. The poor one. I still feel the weight of the titanium nail inside it. I imagine myself every time I walk and limping as Dr. House does. Well, I think soon I'll be in a need for a cane. It started causing me a pain; harsh enough to awake me, nauseate me, and drive me crazy. It keeps ringing in my mind the idea of a pain killer. Still, is this all for real, or just a subconscious thoughts because I watch Dr. House? It's hard to know as I don't have an access to my subconscious. To tell the truth, I think I'm very limited in using my brain, power, gifts, and intelligent as I can't understand nor control my subconscious. To make it easier; the human brain can be divided into 10% of conscious, and 90% subconscious. The subconscious deals with many agenda without our awareness in every daily aspect of our life Those who are lucky enough to access the 90% may have stronger capabilities using their brains. Almost, only mental disorder patients access freely their subconscious. That, what I think, makes them extraordinary. So, they're special because of the disorder they have.

My third agenda is coffee. And before I start I hope if it were a French coffee. In the recent couple of weeks, I've been overusing or abusing coffee in my body. I wanted it to be at least a sweet addiction like French coffee. It's pretty, classy, smooth, and attracts many girls and some boys. Yet, I keep drinking very bitter and blackish one.However, I could identify, by using my body, a new kind of insomnia; caffeine induced insomnia. That puts me in a tough condition, as I need something to induce awakens, I need something to make me sleep.

To be continued..

-- Post From My iPhone