Missing Piece

There’s a piece of music which keeps playing inside my head. And I keep repeating it and humming it. I tried to play it on violin, but this was advance for me. I need to recall its name, so I could find the note and play it. And here lies the problem; I have a high traffic inside my brain, and I can’t spot, control, grab, or determine my destination. It’s the season where my brain controls me, not I do control it.

I can excuse this poor machine, as I put too much pressure and stress on it. It functions peacefully in every aspect I push my nose into. However, now I am having one of the greatest mind blocks. My brain, dear brain, is just like a donkey. This poor creature, donkey, is very smart, and good in memorizing. It’s a heavy duty worker, and never complains, just like my brain. Until on occasion, it decides to stop, whenever and wherever, and then no matter how hard the donkey hostler tries, the donkey won’t move a foot or a hoof.

The other issue with my brain is its disbelief. It was shocked, when it realized the body contour, it has been into. As my brain thinks of itself as an alpha brain, and it demands to be into an alpha male body. This has something to guarantee the survival of its legacy. However, I could tell where my arrogance came from. The conflict now between my body and my brain is very complicated, because my brain tried in the last or first 25 years of my life to kill me. When it had failed, it’s trying to convince me to get larger in size.

Apparently, we have a problem. I call my brain names, like donkey, and it’s trying to kill me. However, I have a cultural crisis. I’m not sure how to put this in non-arrogant or modest manner, but I think I’m superior. This is the dilemma I’ve been involved into since 2008. As a result I could conclude that I don’t belong to this community, as my brain doesn’t belong to my body. The fear I face the most is dying alone. Beside that I’m not sure who my lucky wife would be. The fine lady who I would spend the rest of my shortening life with her. And that was another missing piece.

A puzzle is forming inside my imagination. There is no fucking freaking clue of the complete image or the pieces. I’m confused, and even when I say I, I’m not sure who I is. We may have discussed the structure of the brain apparatus according to Freud. So, it’s time to know the human being component. Physically, there is a body, and the brain is a part of this body. Therefore, we can’t put the brain outside its frame which is the body. There is the life status, which could be what is called the soul. Some children are born without a head, the usual common head we all have. They may survive for seconds to minutes before they die.

So, there is the life and the body. Is there anything else? Indeed the sum of these two results the human being. And the human being is nothing more than the intention or the will. Life, body, and will. Nevertheless, I’m not sure if all of us did will to arrive to this earth. The will could be the margin between humans and animals. However, as we progress, we find out more in common between us, like my brain and I, and the will could be something in common. My brain, please function to figure out the missing piece in this formula.

The whole puzzle could be solved, if I remember the music recital name.

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