Karma

Tower of Babel

If karma is about math, then I’m screwed up. I don’t want to sum up the good deeds versus or minus the bad actions I did during my life. Since the result terrifies me every time I close my eyes and ask the universe to help me establishing some of my wishes. Well, the universe speaks a universal language, I’m just not sure if I’m following it correctly. Despite the complexity of our language/communication method, the universe language is very easy; "he who reaps thorns, doesn't harvest roses"

We’re locked inside labyrinth. All what we think of, in the detain, is how to skip. The only way out is death! Thanks to karma again, even when we die, we will be reincarnated inside the same labyrinth, just in a different level. So, the only way out is in. Ironically, we claim that we’re free. I could finally appreciate the luxury of when I was a student. I’m not employed yet, but I can feel how I’m enslaved during my internship. This’s no flight of ideas, please notice the thin thread between every sentence. Anyway, for a while I thought of quitting medicine and live between my books. Yet, I don’t underestimate the value of the knowledge that I learn regarding human beings.

On a lower level, we’re imprisoned inside our own bodies. Imagine if you woke up one morning and try to open your mouth to shout how ugly this world is. But for your surprise, you’re mute! The jump we did on evolution bases, which made us superior to our cousins, monkeys, is the language. So, it’s that easy, we’re locked once we can’t speak. We’re locked once we can’t shit. How fragile humans are. More I think of it, how many people I wanted to say to them (fuck you) before I lost my ability to talk? Yeah, again the sense of insignificant appears among my lines. Why am I writing? To unlock the boundaries that my soul is limited inside?

I’m dissolving. I believe I’m going more spiritual and less physical. As words pass between my fingers, I lose some of the inner structure to you, to every reader. And soon the matter I’m consisting of will vanish, or transformed into another form of energy, assuming that mass is energy. This way, I may skip my fate, and cheat karma. This’s the great escape. Since the blank paper is a rubbishy concept. You can’t start over, at least as a human, or inside this universe. The free will topic pops up again in my head.

(The Context) is a concept I’m proposing to state the dilemma of free will. I don’t remember if I mention it earlier. Karma, for example, determines the form of our current life based on our previous deeds. Our life, abstractly, is fixed, based on our parents, geographical location, socioeconomical status, and many other factors that we don’t control. These factors, which we neglect, direct us to make our decisions. This way, everything we did was implied according to the atmosphere we live into. (The Context) we live inside is controlling us. Apparently, there’s no running away.

How to skip? Nah, apparently I have to stand my ground and calculate my chances of failing or success, regardless or with respect to karma effect. I don’t remember last time I did this, most probably this’s my first time. That means I’m maturing, but I don’t want to  be dull like matures. Usually, I don’t hold any risk for any of my actions. Since everything is well planned and directed toward this day; the day when Ahmed has to take his own risk. Smart of me, first two things I prepared are something else to blame, karma, and running away plan.