Parallel Reality

I don’t remember how I’ve arrived to here. I opened my eyes, though I’m not sure if they were locked, on a whole new scene. Endless dunes change so rapidly, they are sandy, snowy, or grassy. It’s very windy and stormy that I just fly without wings. Once I wish to have wings, there were implanted in my back. The dunes beneath me change into a beach. The sea waves strike so strongly. I see the drops moving like I have a built in microscope in my eyes. I hear the sound of the clashing, like I was surrounded by a big stereo in a small room.

For some reasons I don’t know, but my brain, the higher machine, is not surprised. It just acts like it knows the place. Damn! I can’t tell my brain there is something wrong is going on. I command my muscles to stop, and my eyes to seal. Yet the brain is blocking every single I send. It’s not mind over the matter, it’s the mind rules its realm, peacefully for it/him/her, and chaotically for me.

My confusion is long gone with the wind. I am very used to close my eyes, and then open them on new reality, deamination, or whole world. This is my new life, a gypsy wondering everywhere my unconscious can reach. I have a strong feeling of childish speculating eyes, they question everything they see. There is nothing definite for a child, or for me, and everything is new. I welcome you in my dreams.

Inception, the movie, had implanted an idea deep into my brain. How scary it’s to be controlled by a movie. However, the concept which has been inserted is not too strange for me. In 2004, I had a severe head trauma. I lost my sense of smelling, which returned different than before. I started tasting and smelling things like something new, unique and strange. It felt like a dream. Later on, late 2005, I’ve been on deapkine; a medication for epilepsy.

I wasn’t seizing in the common concept like shaking, and convoluting. Yet, I had extensive episodes of déjà vu. It’s worth to mention there is a striptease club called Déjà vu somewhere in America. However, I wasn’t seeing naked girls in my déjà vu, neither striptease triggered the episodes. This diminished the thin line between reality and not reality. I can’t name it dreams, or imaginations, but they were altered reality for me. Anyway seizers can be expressed sometimes as déjà vu.

Altered reality makes me questioning the common reality which you all live. In many occasions I can’t tell if things are real or dream. The trauma, depakin, déjà vu, Inception, and philosophy contributed in my situation. Philosophy keeps questioning if our senses tell the truth. We can’t be real because we see, as blind can’t. We can’t be real because we are alive, since death is real. Therefore, our input is not up to the output.

We just are dreamees. We are dolls, an image, helpless image in the brain of a higher creature, or a creator. And the Supreme Being is sleeping forever. When we die, we’re awake. And I’m not sure how it’s to be awake. This world is very neat, it follows a system which can’t be designed by a normal human being/ a dreamee. It’s very organized to be real, because my reality is very confused. However, for me as a dreamee, I’m chaotic by nature. If it were all up to me to organize or participate in organizing this world, it would be torn apart. We are driven, helplessly, toward one fate. What a sorrow, this can’t be changed. No matter how hard you try, the chemistry tube, which we live into, is directed to one goal: death or awake. Therefore, this reality is nothing but a dream engineered by the sleeper.


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