Vulnerable

Abuse

Every time I go to my bed, or any other bed, trying to sleep, the every night show starts playing in my mind. Like a movie, sequences follow each other; scenes keep repeating and flying like crows attacking a golden tooth in a corpse. Then, the corpse wakes up and screams in pain. I think it was punished in the later life, or early childhood.

What do you imagine when you close your eyes? A dark room, where inappropriate mistreatment took place into, a long time ago? Do you imagine another child giving you a lesson in the ABC of 567? Do you imagine sinking in the darkness and ignorance of silence, and left alone in the middle of a black hole? How many of us think of paradise, a lovely vacation, or nice memories, when eyes are sealed by the lids?

When I become a practicing doctor, I would like to undress every child I treat. I would seek for cigarette burns, bruises, broken bones, and even manipulated genitals. Yet, how to dig into the unseen? How to know what happens when a child or an adult closes his/her eyes? Abuse can be in many forms, yet the emotional or psychological abuse can be the worse and hardest to define and treat. Abuse happen in every age groups, still, the youngest the abused, the worse the outcome. Abuse can be for individuals, families, and nations, and sometimes the abuser is an individual, a group, or a whole nation.

Close your eyes, and think how abused you were? Stop, I didn’t mean it. However, I am this time closing my eyes and telling you what I see. My vision is very blurred, it can spot 2 unclear figures. As they approach closer to me, I got more scared. One of them is very old, and the other is very young. They start talking out loud, and then they start shouting. Each one of them is trying to convince me to join his side. I decide to run away, they start hunting me, and every time they catch a piece of me, I give up this piece to keep running. In the end, I survive, limbless, partless, only my mind could stay in one piece. Anyway, my mind keeps remembering this event until it melts down.

I can’t provide a specific or accurate statistics about abuse, in Saudi Arabia, as it’s legal in here. Marriage is a good excuse to sexually exploit a 9 years old girl. In the end, the prophet Mohammed was married to Aisha when she was 9. To tell the truth, children and females are the weakest chain. It’s not fair to exclude it only to those two, freedom is the abused poor female child. And when freedom is abused, you can expect them, Saudis, to invent many unbelievable and unpredictable methods of abusing. Saudi Arabia, the international inventory lab of abusing and mistreating, welcomes you.

I am afraid that in each house, there’s at least one case of abuse. It could be cruelty, neglecting, manipulation, or anything else. The question is; who to turn to? We’re lonely, vulnerable, and molested. We have nobody beside us. Anyway, it may form a black hole, which engulfs everything, or a white hole to create a universe full of colors. It depends on what you see, when you close your eyes and surf in the sea of memories.