Peace of Mind

If you read this, then, most likely I found my place in the boat to the next harbor. During that journey, the weather was very turbulent. Wild waves engulfed the moon, and frightened the light. The boat was just like a small feather, manipulated by wind. Hopelessly it was fighting the stormy sea. In the middle of the battle, the machine of fate was working peacefully. Like it found the optimal atmosphere to function. So, dear fate, was it weather fault? Or it's the sailor, a trouble seeker. Are we free? Or it's incidences and chance that drive our destiny? Doubt and instability is a benefit which makes my brain works probably. Oh, my brain, my trouble seeker, I presumed marriage may provide you some peace of mind. Now, I'm not sure of what you seek, and what you pursue.

What if a beautiful lady is in front of me? She's dressed in a very seductive way. In a temptation to all of my 6 senses, she's starting to take off what covers her lustful flesh. At that moments, what factors may control my decisions? Shall I ignore all this show, and ask god for the reward? Or I may fulfill her thirst. I closed my eyes, slightly opened my mouth. A journey of kisses has begun. An angel has been sent to catch us on the action. We've been taken upstairs. At his/her glory supreme court, we presented in front of the question: who to take the guilt?

"communism is a world in which each give according to their abilities, and receive according to their needs". Islam punishment theory is almost the same. There're 2 evidence in Islam teaching we need to study. First: No bearer of burdens shall bear another's burden, "لا تزر وازرة وزر أخرى". Second is the treatment an Illegitimate child should receive.

We're free, therefore, god may abstract one event to exclude any other factors. Then, he/she may judge accordingly. Let's make it easier; I decided to suicide. I'm completely informed about the guilt I made. Though, I did my plan due to stress, failure, lost, childhood abuse, and uselessness of my life. All these excuses can't stand in front of my knowledge that suicide is forbidden, and hell shall be my ultimate residency. This is what I could understand from first evidence.

We can't control fate. The lady we just mentioned earlier conceived my child. Such a child is a prohibited from many rights. For example, he can't be an Imam/leader in a prayer (something like priest). Also, he can't be…. What's his guilt to be judged like this? Life wasn't fair to him, so shall god be unfair to him? If he turned to be a criminal, should we look to the incidence abstractly, regardless the factor which led him to this condition? So, communism is the solution. He would be treated accordingly to his abilities. The ability to make decisions in a situation, given his condition and capability. Anyway, the community, the parents, and all other factors should be punished and rewarded as needed. The need of people to be pure. So, they may approach heaven.

My optimistic opinion tend to have a forgiven god, more like Jesus style. Even staying in hell should be for very limited people. Also, for many of them, they should linger there for very short period. This way, I dared to sail to the next coast. I wanna know how it's like over there. Anybody is welcome to join me.

I'm getting old faster than I could notice. Soon, I'll be 25 years old, that's almost one third of my life. Assuming I was supposed to live 75, what third should be the most important? I can't tell what I achieved, Alexander conquered the world when he was younger than I'm. Napoleon captured Egypt also in a younger age. Being creative usually is found in early age. Orientation regarding aims and targets should be clear for a person before 20's. I am asking myself, what my objectives are. What special about me?


To be continued