Humanity!

Humanity

I just had left the hospital. Every time I have to work on weekends or late times, I think why am I here? Is it an obligation or an option? Indeed, I’m honored when I work to save souls, relieve pain, and improve life quality. Yet, how does my work make the difference? Usually the service provided in hospitals is below average. We’re talking about standers of care. On a lesser scale, all I have to do is optimizing my care to the patient better outcome. When I try to help in a faster, delicate, and compassionate manner, I don’t only reach the point of self-satisfaction and patient’s as well. Then, I believe I initiated the wheel of caring. I expect the patient, as an individual, to do the same to another individual. This’s how I serve humanity! I’ll spare a man or woman more time to take care of their families, jobs, and contribution to civilization, just by being a better doctor, and a humbled person.

So, what makes us alike? For my family, they all grow a big belly after marriage. It’s not a beer belly, it’s the “fucking” belly. Indeed the trend to cluster into nations, communities, and families is very characteristic of human beings. We feel the threat of nature around us, we’re in a continues fight against it. I’m not surprised by the current behavior in destruction it, because this way we conquer and defeat volcanoes, earthquakes, and tsunamis. It’s like slapping and slapping back. Besides that, our instincts encourage us to be competitive. When we feel hopeless against mother earth, we direct our powers against each other. Dog eating dog, even when we feel defeated against higher authority like a senior doctor. In the end, it’s very amusing how we are all alike, share most of motivation, aims, behaviors, and manners, despite the big change in outer frame, even when we see things in different perspective. The human behavior passes the borders of race, gender, or ethnicity. 

The Origin of Humanity

Is it due to a common ancestor?  If the evolution is true, then why there’s no other intelligent life forms in earth beside us. It’s funny to criticize a theory which extends over two billion years, when first nucleated cells appeared. So, let’s trace briefly our family tree. Fifteen million years ago, the first great ape descended from the gibbon. We shouldn’t take things away from the context, everything is evolving. Intelligence, morals, behaviors and even religions are changing, advancing, and adapting to the surrounding atmosphere. We weren’t born the way we see each other’s now. The beginning was far away in history, around 200000 years, and we kept surviving and adapting to the nature. Thus, when you ask how come such a decent creature descended from monkeys, remember some primitive behaviors which some humans do. Also, remember this package wasn’t brought from heaven all sudden, but built through the ages of trial and error. There were at least fifteen ancestors since we’ve separated from the great apes. Some of those species were eliminated by other dominating one. So, survival of the fittest.

The big picture is really more holistic. We’re all, all the living and nonliving forms, made of star dusts. It’s funny killing somebody because of beliefs disagreement. And after generations the same exact atoms which built that the victim may contribute to your child's body. Would you kill your child then? I can’t understand why we shout at each other? Why do we show signs of force and power against each other? Why there is no peace among people of same eyes, mouths, noses, and ears. I mean like are we really that different to justify killing each other? Even though, I can’t comprehend the idea of killing a human being. It’s really shocking. If I would have killed all the men and women to live one day more from the sum of their lives, I just couldn’t. If shouting would prove my point or my power, somebody always would shout louder so he/she would be right. We’re not equal, for sure, but very similar.

Beside all things we have in common, all of us die. Just imagine, what is capable of killing all of us at once? Just imagine the amount of silence if all humans are gone. Would our apocalypse be a man-made, a natural disaster or something else? I remember an old cartoon TV show about a war, the third world war, in 2008 using magnetic weapons which destruct the earth and manipulate all of its magnetic fields. Yet, an island has survived, and life flourishes afterward. Anyway, if a nuclear war takes place, I’m afraid it wouldn’t leave any survival. Another possibility is another ice age, we’re not where better than dinosaurs if such a disaster happens, and it’s really possible. But the most preferable mode of extinction, for me, is being eliminated by another intelligent form; computers.

We are developing technology so fast that soon it can take over.  That doesn't matter.  I care the most about the possibility of a world which would be exclusive only for computers, where their initial creature, humans, would be eradicated. Would ultra-smart computer's wonder who did create them? Would they come up with the idea of god which we have now? Or are they smart enough to believe there is no as such as creator? Nevertheless, we humans created them in first place. This is a very beautiful paradox.

Humanity by Anda

The origin of Human by Ishton

Medical Intern

Everything is possible, and nothing is possible. It’s an issue of win it all, or lose it all. I’m a gambler and my bet is too high. In the end, when I think of it a bit deeper, my head spins in confusion, fear, and amazement. My name is Ahmed, a medical intern, and authorized anesthesia trainee in Saudi Arabia. Currently, my primary aim is to find a sponsor, a hospital, to practice, learn, and work. Indeed, such a journey, seven years long, looks very faint and simple when I match it with such a result; to be a doctor!

First, I’m enlisting my mistakes. I had a clear vision of my target, but I didn’t know how to approach. Stress takes over or maybe it was just my fear disables me. During that, I missed some chances to apply in hospitals, and enforce my CV. Also, I started preparing for MCCEE, the Canadian medical qualification test, a bit late. I wish if I had this qualification earlier, a year before for example. Third, SLE, Saudi licensing exam, the mission impossible, the most unreliable confusing test in my life, I should have learned the illogic beneath it so I could score higher. SLE experience was frustrating because it failed really to measure my real level of knowledge and practice. I figured out during my internship that I was a “good” student, but I’m an “excellent” doctor.

My most powerful pillars in my CV were how I showed interest in anesthesia, my chosen specialty. Indeed, this way I failed to guarantee other option. In the same time, it’s not necessary I secured a position in anesthesia. I tend to neglect other factors which may affect the process of my acceptances. I know I’m not playing on the GPA, grades, and electives bases only. Thinking about this is very exhausting. All I have to do is wishing a better outcome, since I’ve failed to do my best.

Anyway, as an intern I had an extensive chance to be exposed to many cases, procedures and education opportunities. I feel more confident after finishing 9 months when I face a medical case in real life. I’m more capable of making decisions. And to some extent my gratitude is directed to my university, despite all the negative points. For sure, it wasn’t all a pink picnic. I felt some disappointment when I saw the dark side of our practice. I’ve established before that doctors aren’t angels, not absolutely good. Yet, I found out that some doctors are devils.

Stress makes forget. I find it difficult to have a continued line of thoughts. I even forget to write about how stressful the times I pass through. “Stressful times require exceptional measurements.” Still, how can I manage such times? This’s an advice for my colleagues: supposedly if you get approved in Saudi health commission, then you must have a position in one of the hospitals. Therefore, keep calm and Hakuna Matata. Also, spend an elective period in whatever specialty you may possibly choose. What I did was taking an elective attachment in anesthesia while I was a student, in 2010, and then in my internship. Later, I did an intensive care rotation, electively, as it’s much related to anesthesia. This way I make it look really like I’m interested in such a field. 

I’m not sure if I’m speaking like a victorious winner or a loser. What did I lose? My usual Ahmed?! Since the beginning of the time in college of medicine, I always have this battle between my studies and other life activities. It was hard to balance. I’m not sure what I compromised to establish such a solid base of knowledge and practice in my medical field. Maybe it was some of my happiness, wisdom, knowledge, and variety. Still, serving a human life is worth all my time. It’s a sufficient outcome for the time I give, and the other knowledge I may acquire. Apparently, in the last few months, I did rearrange my priorities to be a great doctor first, and then I can be whatever else I want to be. I wish all the interns around the world, in this year and the following years, the best, a more organized plan than I did, and to be successful doctors. 

SIlence

“And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence”

I stand still in that graveyard. I’m not sure if the silence is fear made, or respect due.  It deafens me when I listen to it attentively. The rose in my hand is growing darker. I still can’t understand why to bring flowers to those who deceased. Does it contain the seed of life? The ground beneath me becomes drier, probably in thirst for water. The wind stops blowing, and the soundlessness takes over! I’m apprehensive that it’s prepared to engulf me, regardless the normalized atmosphere around me.

If the sound is the matter, then the silence is the anti-matter. Long ago, very long and very ago, when there was no time, no mass, no universe, and no sound, a massive explosion happened. And since then, the universe is filled with the noise of The Big Bang. It’s scattered all through the universe. The cosmic microwave background radiation is an evidence of our universe age, and its expansion. It first was noticed incidentally as a constant, low, and mysterious noise in Bell Labs' Horn Antenna. This antenna, which was operated by Penzias and Wilson, was supposed to receive detect some radio waves after elimination all other sources of noise. What was left is the white noise of TVs or radios; the microwave radiation. In the end, the Big Band didn’t only scatter an enormous matter, but also released a tremendous blast of radiation, or in the common tongue noise!

What does quietness serve? In Middle East traditions, when a man proposes to a girl, her muteness means approval. Poor girl, she’s too shy to speak a word, or disclose rejection probably. I can’t understand if the females here are really debilitated. Oh, I prefer to speak more about those creatures in another blog. Sometimes, the silence means a big no. Rejection or objection can’t be expressed easily in such communities. I want to reject traditions, a lot of superstitious believes, and maltreatment. Yet, I better to enclose these opinions silently, and then take them along with me to the grave. Indeed an extended argument regarding the methods of change can be discussed over here. Is it possible to impose the change by applying it only? Otherwise, is it possible change can be produced only by words and noise? An old Arabic verb states: “I hear a noise of arms, yet I don’t see the army.”

Before I stood in the graveyard, they asked for a moment of silence. It’s the wisdom to give each individual a moment to pray or show respect in his or her own beliefs. I went into silence seeking the universal power which could take over the humans' bodies. I bet such power is silent and stealth too, because nobody before death shouted: “I’m dying.” Though, asking for water is an indication of death approaching. Soon, during the moment of silence, I felt endangered, because it really distresses me. I can understand why humans keep humming, talking to oneself, or turning the TV on, just to avoid the sense of danger which impulse by quietness.  

Indeed such an act is very profound. I presume that every great act of human beings was escorted by silence. Though, I’m sure the dialogue inside was very noisy. That moment which takes a man, in swiftness faster than the speed of sound, toward the hidden idea within silence? “To be creative, and thoughtful, you shall speak less” I’m full of rubbish, like after writing for three years, what have I established? At the end of the day, I’m not going to start from zero. I’ll just try another way to be a great human being, a remarkable individual.

My recent wordless period was a strong shield. Silence to keep dignity! Keep calm, and shut up! So, I just kept the golden piece to the last paragraph, as usual. For sure, I had enough time to rearrange my army, my thoughts, and come with more talk. Ironically, I expect some people to be scared of my speechlessness. I’m really sorry if this whole entry was dull, but it was ridiculous how I kept talking about silence, while I shall stay silent…  

The picture: speechless by Alicechan