Prophecy

I’m waiting for the prophecy. Listening to the silence, silently, to show respect to it. It’s just the heave of trees, rain dance while it drops in joy, and birds singing. I keep my eyes on earth all the time, seeking for the fallen star.

I’m alone and lonely. It’s echoing through the empty walls of my cells, my heart, my chest, my room, my block, my city, my country, and the entire world around me. Oh, is it the world around me, or am I surrounding it? That may explain the echo! As well, it may explain my loneliness. However, it could be good to listen sometimes to yourself while you talk, to realize how stupid you talk.

People continually change, starting from atom level up to mental level. We may change for the best or the worse. We may progress or regress. We may give life once, we easily die. We change for sure. When I review my changes, I figured to have been changed a lot through previous years, either passively or actively. Ok, let’s review some changes. When I say we, I mean me and myself, as to respect the difference between my spirit and my mind. So, I’m getting more isolated, more silent, and less socially. One nice friend told me that these are signs of prophecy, I’m getting more prophetic, and soon I’ll be prophet. It has been three weeks abroad, without any social contacting. I’m just being more listening, thinking, and deciding not to make any friends.

I am not sure of what I feel. My other dear friend told me to get marriage soon. I’m ruining myself by my own, staying alone like this. So, it’s me enjoying myself alone. I think Riyadh experience and atmosphere are stuck in my lower conscious and hunting me with loneliness. It tells me no body fits me, I’m alone because I’m superior to everybody else. So, Riyadh did the worse to me!

It’s very strange place to live in, because it’s a desert. Whom stupid enough to live in a desert? I chose to do so, 5 years ago. Now, my heart, soul, mind and I live in a desert. They are in a desert all the time even in Eden. It’s more like mental status. Is it mentality of being alone, more unique? Is it being more alone, safer? Is it not secured sensation all over my heart? Yet, I think no heart has left to me after 5 years experience.

I’m gravely sad to myself, ending up like this. Cry myself a river for being lonely.

Reviewed later on.