Why Anesthesia?

Sunday, April 06, 2014

The first rule is: "Be humble." That's all it takes. This is the initial advice of my mentor, and it’s the one which he emphasized on the most. It may reflect on every aspect of my life. As it drives me to realize that all the knowledge I have is nothing in comparison to the universal knowledge. It makes me more sympathetic with juniors and appreciating the seniors. Modesty puts everything in order. Yet, why doctors, in general, are arrogant? 

It took me 7 long crude years to be a doctor. During that period, I've seen people around me graduating, starting families, establishing businesses, and moving around. All I had is my books, my mild depressed attitude, and a big wholesome of worthlessness. Children can't appreciate the time. It's pointless to promise them for something tomorrow or after a month or a year. A direct reward system is the best for them. Some over grows this habit, however, it's stuck with a lot. In my scenario, I didn't come to realize how long it may take for me to reach the goal, until I chose medicine. This's a big dilemma for high school graduates. How are they supposed to choose their life path while they lack knowledge and guidance? Also, not to confuse guidance with imposing or forcing an option.

I will be at least 35 until I start my golden time of my career. Then, I should be a consultant, an active member in forming health policies, and a successful husband and father. Still, in reflection, every time was a golden period. Because, I didn't expect a peaceful period. There is always a battle going on. As I win, it's always a golden time.  And as perspectives vary dramatically along people, everybody has his or her own battles. Despite that, we live to prosper and flourish. This's our only chance. In the fact, we could be the only chance in this massive universe. Or, we're the first prototype, aren't we? Since our universe is very young to have an opportunity to formulate a smart life form. It took around 13 billion years to provide, gather, and interact all the elements to create us. For sure, it'll need longer to have a smarter form. 

From anesthesia to the universe is not a far trip. We deal with physics, chemistry, and biology of micro and macro scale. Though, it's not like high school or university, for there's always a life on the steak. I'm now on the first step of my trip in this field. I'll build and be built from scratch. Yet, I feel like there's a big bang inside of me. There's a lot of energy, enthusiasm, and hunger to learn and work. For the sure, the universe has a purpose. So, is it called luck to choose something I like, to find out later it leads me to another thing I like more? 

Every specialty reflects its own character on the doctor behaviors. I think anesthesia reflects quietness, self control, discipline, and modesty. Why is the modesty? Because despite how expert I may become, I should know that my abilities alone may fail me. So, in contrary to surgeons, anesthetist shouldn't be fooled by their skills and competencies. So far, I did around sixty intubations. Would you imagine my feelings after 600 or 6000 intubations? Here lies the trick. 

Let’s talk practical anyway. My choice is based on personal preferences. That doesn’t mean everybody choosing a particular specialty have similar personality. I prefer short term encounter with patients. I’m self centered when it comes to appreciation. I don’t need someone to thank me or acknowledge my efforts. In fact, I forget the patients I deal with quickly, as they do. I wish they did, as I remark to my success with the status of amnesia. I like to utilize my medical knowledge, and anesthesia is more like a combination of surgery and medicine. We deal with a wide variety of morbidities, surgical conditions, and in remote areas. In contrary to internal medicine, I have different skills and direct intervention. Most of the times, our management is absolute, not compensatory. In contrary to surgery, we manage the airway, we know how to deal with medical conditions and emergencies. I like to see a quick outcome. I’m the pain killer. Also, I’m the master of the OR. And it’s very easy for us to put people to sleep. Do you imagine how important sleep is, especially when a person suffer amnesia? Also, I like well controlled and quiet atmosphere like the operating room. Anesthesia is a relatively new field which is promising to expand and offer more opportunities. 


Anyway, after a long journey of studying, working, and practicing I'm here starting from point zero. It's too early to formulate a future plan, but I shouldn't delay such step. However, I’m very lucky to start with an excellent mentor who is very helpful and concerned how to formulate my career life. I’m building out of scratch by him. And the six month's encounter I had with him will be engraved in my memory, style, attitude, skills, and knowledge. It's too difficult to catch up with everything, and my time is short, but I’ll try and keep trying.