My Wet Boxer (Full)

It’s sexy, isn’t it? Freud, in his pleasure drive principle, suggests; human pursue pleasure, and avoid pain. Nevertheless, I suggest that female’s pleasure is pain oriented. Therefore, females prefer jerk and mean boys. (Jerk appealing principle), according to Ahmed, suggests; lovely kind boys are too gay, so girls don’t like practicing pleasure with them. On the other hand, girls would attract simply to jerks. The reality that Freud, concentrated in his principles on male perspective, means he was a jerk, thinks inferiorly of females. So, girls were attracted to him. Besides, he was just prescribing cocaine for his patients. I bit that’s together as sexy as my wet boxer is for a lot of females.

Is sex a luxury on necessary? First of all, I need to discuss: do relationships in whole world is similar, or differ based on other aspects? The base line is the desire of having sex is universal. The variation comes from the suppressing and permitting factors. I tend to believe that religion, or fear of later life punishment, has no business to do with a naked guy and girl in a dark room. Despite Gandhi’s attempts, in bahmacharya, to achieve celibacy, still he did share bed with 16 and 19 years old NAKED girls. I can understand they, the girls, didn’t practice sex with him as he was considering himself as their mothers. Anyway, the fear governs and controls us the most. It could be the fear of having a child, being married, social rejection, or religious police. To make it easier, the fear level enables or disables our sexual actions. Nevertheless, horror sensation is very sweet. In the end, if having sex is a need, then everybody would do it. Since, only few people may enjoy it, it’s a luxury.

I didn’t bring anything new. Yet, the harder the super ego suppresses the Id, the Id would respond more aggressive when the super ego absents. Therefore, more enabling factors for sexual desire mean less expression for that desire. Since, there is no stress has been practiced over the Id, and then there is no vengeance process takes place between the 2 competing apparatus. Also, more disabling factors result in multi responds for one single situation. Let’s put it in an easier way, a Saudi religious man would deny and disapprove any homosexual or heterosexual behavior in public or between unmarried couple. Later one, he would not mind doing sex with underage boy, as long as they are in the farm without monitoring.

In most occasions, girl would accept the sexual act if it’s based on love. So, love comes first, then sex. This could be true where the body holds more value than the emotion does. It’s some sort of emotional insecurity.  In general girls are taught to protect and cover their bodies, while boys don’t mind exposing everything. I remember seeing a naked guy rides a bicycle in Cambridge twice or thrice. Anyway, love, itself, is the mania stage of a bipolar disorder. So, everything is high; happiness, wellbeing, energy, thoughts, and only sleep is low. Also, there is over spending, impaired judgment, substance or self abuse, and easily distracted. So, you need to have a lot of money to fall in love. As a result you have to have a lot of money to have sex. And I didn’t mean to put 3 haves in one sentence. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s not prostitution. But it’s more or less of offering and demand.

After the mania stages, the depression starts. Life, which was full of colors transformed in one night to a grey lifeless sky. And what we all are eager to do is suicide. I think the high rate of depression and suicide attempts along young Saudis is due to failure of love. Do we not know how to love?! Never mind, the depression phase will be full of remembering the misjudgments we did we were maniac. Regret, sorrow, and feeling of being stupid would hunt us as we did all of stupid stuff. The sleeping pattern would change also; you used to spend all the night awake talking and maybe pleasuring each other. That reminds me of insomnia patterns, early morning insomnia with depression, induction insomnia with anxiety, and maintenance insomnia with mania.

At the depression stage your love has 3 options:

1.practicing sex to compensate the depression.

2. Practicing sex but you can’t get rid of the depression.

3. No energy for sex.

In first option you may survive. But the rest 2 are judged to be failed. Thank you very much for you time.

Updates

I decided to post some personal life updates..
Like diaries,
so for now I was busy last week in final pedia (children medicine) exam
Then I am having 10 or 11 days vacation.
In this lovely vacation I planned to continue my Freud stuff.
However, I'm really busy designing a research.
I would like to speak less about it until it's finished.

استعينوا على قضاء حوائجكم بالكتمان

My Wet Boxer

Lineless

Everybody should not feel no pain. Nobody could understand the previous statement, without reading it again. However, the medical text books are full of such. Not and no go away making the sentence this way: nobody should feel pain. What a bit of a twist to reach the conclusion. Still, it just took few seconds, but for me it took a long 7 years. (I bid most of you go to read the first sentence again)

I’m lost in drafts. There is a lot to speak of. In same time, there’s more to learn about. Sometimes, speaking a lot my compromise your learning time. Imam Ali says: “Who talks a lot, mistaken a lot.” Therefore, I’m obligated to tell you there is nothing important to gain in the next lines. It could be just more mistakes. Maybe, this entry will be completely line-less.

In general, doing mistakes is a troublesome, specially, when you are trusted on lives. Medical approach in general is very cautious. And it becomes more alert when you consider side effects of medications. No need to mention, death could be a side effect. This is very ironic; it could be restated to be: “death is a side effect of living!” Forget about this as I don’t want to fall in the trap of cancer and its misery. So here is the formula; more conservative treating approach, less mistakes. Nonetheless, I could notice that I’m very aggressive healer.

I have to apology, last week entry was very long. I don’t wish to make this one as the previous one. I am digressing from my main stream to introduce you to the digression. Noticeably, AlMa’arri, a blind man from Syria/Iraq, was very skillful in this art. Yeah, English folk, diverting from the paragraph, article, or whole book main idea is an art and very crucial art, which as far as I know, couldn’t be utilized by Shakespeare. However, the blind Arabic philosopher could practice it, more than a thousand years ago, in his native language, and I’m here to practice it in English regardless the nonsense I write. Just one more idea of digression, Simpsons could be good example.

If I were a doctor in The Simpsons, it would be normal for my crazy treating approach in that wonderland. I treat very aggressively, aiming to minimize the pain and suffer. After 7 months, when I start my internship, this is going to be a big time problem with any supervisor doctor. Doctors, remember Freud was prescribing cocaine for his patients. Currently, he’s one of the most referred to and respected figures in medical schools. Don’t think that I plan to give cocaine or morphine, to make my patients feel no pain, nor I plan to be as great as Freud is. Nevertheless, I’m soft hearted, and it’s not easy for me to start with less effective medication to be in safe side, and wishing it may work. Doctors, as long as you can’t feel, don’t assume.

Freud assumption/theory/idea divides the brain into 3 functional apparatus: the id, ego, and super ego. What I fancy the most is the super ego, as mine is super inflated. Freud started initially his ideas on the conscious and unconscious parts of the brain, we always try to explain the later terms, like super-ego, according to the initial terms. Therefore super-ego is the conscious, and all I could provide as a definition is examples; morality, perfection, and control. Narcissism is one important pillar, beside the father/ideal model image, and social manners to form the super ego. Also, the confliction between the father image and Oedipus complex is like the interaction between the super-ego and id. However, why did we assume that the father image always wins? Indeed, being child and helpless is a good answer. The construction of such model is very strong and very hard to question. Still, it could be all just a medical mistake!

To be continued 

حُسْنُ الحِضارَةِ مَجلُوبٌ بتَطْرِيَةٍ

مَنِ الجآذِرُ في زِيّ الأعَارِيبِ

حُمْرَ الحِلَى وَالمَطَايَا وَالجَلابيبِ

إنْ كُنتَ تَسألُ شَكّاً في مَعارِفِها

فمَنْ بَلاكَ بتَسهيدٍ وَتَعذيبِ

لا تَجْزِني بضَنًى بي بَعْدَهَا بَقَرٌ

تَجزي دُموعيَ مَسكوباً بمسكُوبِ

سَوَائِرٌ رُبّمَا سارَتْ هَوَادِجُهَا

مَنيعَةً بَينَ مَطْعُونٍ وَمَضرُوبِ

وَرُبّمَا وَخَدَتْ أيْدي المَطيّ بهَا

على نَجيعٍ مِنَ الفُرْسانِ مَصْبوبِ

كمْ زَوْرَةٍ لَكَ في الأعرابِ خافِيَةٍ

أدهى وَقَد رَقَدوا مِن زَوْرَةِ الذيبِ

أزُورُهُمْ وَسَوَادُ اللّيْلِ يَشفَعُ لي

وَأنثَني وَبَيَاضُ الصّبحِ يُغري بي

قد وَافقوا الوَحشَ في سُكنى مَراتِعِها

وَخالَفُوها بتَقْوِيضٍ وَتَطنيبِ

جِيرانُها وَهُمُ شَرُّ الجِوارِ لهَا

وَصَحبُهَا وَهُمُ شَرُّ الأصاحيبِ

فُؤادُ كُلّ مُحِبٍّ في بُيُوتِهِمِ

وَمَالُ كُلِّ أخيذِ المَالِ مَحرُوبِ

ما أوْجُهُ الحَضَرِ المُسْتَحسَناتُ بهِ

كأوْجُهِ البَدَوِيّاتِ الرّعَابيبِ

حُسْنُ الحِضارَةِ مَجلُوبٌ بتَطْرِيَةٍ

وَفي البِداوَةِ حُسنٌ غيرُ مَجلوبِ

أينَ المَعيزُ مِنَ الآرَامِ نَاظِرَةً

وَغَيرَ ناظِرَةٍ في الحُسنِ وَالطّيبِ

أفدِي ظِبَاءَ فَلاةٍ مَا عَرَفْنَ بِهَا

مَضْغَ الكلامِ وَلا صَبغَ الحَواجيبِ

وَلا بَرَزْنَ مِنَ الحَمّامِ مَاثِلَةً

أوراكُهُنَّ صَقيلاتِ العَرَاقيبِ

وَمِنْ هَوَى كلّ مَن ليستْ مُمَوِّهَةً

ترَكْتُ لَوْنَ مَشيبي غيرَ مَخضُوبِ

وَمِن هَوَى الصّدقِ في قَوْلي وَعادَتِهِ

رَغِبْتُ عن شَعَرٍ في الرّأس مكذوبِ

لَيتَ الحَوَادِثَ باعَتني الذي أخذَتْ

مني بحِلمي الذي أعطَتْ وَتَجرِيبي

فَمَا الحَداثَةُ من حِلْمٍ بمَانِعَةٍ

قد يُوجَدُ الحِلمُ في الشبّانِ وَالشِّيبِ

تَرَعْرَعَ المَلِكُ الأستاذُ مُكْتَهِلاً

قَبلَ اكتِهالٍ أديباً قَبلَ تأديبِ

مُجَرَّباً فَهَماً من قَبْلِ تَجْرِبَةٍ

مُهَذَّباً كَرَماً مِنْ غيرِ تَهذيبِ

حتى أصَابَ منَ الدّنْيا نِهايَتَهَا

وَهَمُّهُ في ابْتِداءاتٍ وَتَشبيبِ

يُدَبّرُ المُلْكَ منْ مِصرٍ إلى عَدَنٍ

إلى العِراقِ فأرْضِ الرّومِ فالنُّوبِ

إذا أتَتْهَا الرّياحُ النُّكْبُ منْ بَلَدٍ

فَمَا تَهُبُّ بِهَا إلاّ بتَرْتِيبِ

وَلا تُجاوِزُها شَمسٌ إذا شَرَقَتْ

إلاّ وَمِنْهُ لهَا إذْنٌ بتَغْرِيبِ

يُصَرّفُ الأمْرَ فيها طِينُ خاتَمِهِ

وَلَوْ تَطَلّسَ مِنهُ كلُّ مكتُوبِ

يَحُطّ كُلَّ طَوِيلِ الرّمْحِ حامِلُهُ

من سرْجِ كلّ طَوِيلِ الباعِ يَعبوبِ

كَأنّ كُلّ سُؤالٍ في مَسَامِعِهِ

قَميصُ يوسُفَ في أجفانِ يَعقوبِ

إذا غَزَتْهُ أعادِيهِ بِمَسْألَةٍ

فقد غَزَتْهُ بجَيْشٍ غَيرِ مَغْلُوبِ

أوْ حارَبَتْهُ فَمَا تَنْجُو بتَقْدِمَةٍ

ممّا أرَادَ وَلا تَنْجُو بتَجْبِيبِ

أضرَتْ شَجاعَتُهُ أقصَى كتائِبِهِ

على الحِمَامِ فَمَا مَوْتٌ بمَرْهوبِ

قالُوا هَجَرْتَ إلَيْهِ الغَيثَ قلتُ لهمْ

إلى غُيُوثِ يَدَيْهِ وَالشّآبِيبِ

إلى الذي تَهَبُ الدّوْلاتِ رَاحَتُهُ

وَلا يَمُنُّ على آثَارِ مَوْهُوبِ

وَلا يَرُوعُ بمَغْدورٍ بِهِ أحَداً

وَلا يُفَزِّعُ مَوْفُوراً بمَنْكُوبِ

بَلى يَرُوعُ بذي جَيْشٍ يُجَدّلُهُ

ذا مِثْلِهِ في أحَمّ النّقْعِ غِرْبِيبِ

وَجَدْتُ أنْفَعَ مَالٍ كُنتُ أذخَرُهُ

مَا في السّوَابِقِ مِنْ جَرْيٍ وَتَقرِيبِ

لمّا رَأينَ صُرُوفَ الدّهرِ تَغدُرُ بي

وَفَينَ لي وَوَفَتْ صُمُّ الأنابيبِ

فُتْنَ المَهَالِكَ حتى قالَ قائِلُهَا

ماذا لَقينَا منَ الجُرْدِ السّراحِيبِ

تَهْوِي بمُنْجَرِدٍ لَيسَتْ مَذاهِبُهُ

لِلُبْسِ ثَوْبٍ وَمأكولٍ وَمَشرُوبِ

يَرَى النّجُومَ بعَيْنَيْ مَنْ يُحاوِلُها

كأنّهَا سَلَبٌ في عَينِ مَسلُوبِ

حتى وَصَلْتُ إلى نَفْسٍ مُحَجَّبَةٍ

تَلقَى النّفُوسَ بفَضْلٍ غيرِ محْجوبِ

في جِسْمِ أرْوَعَ صَافي العَقل تُضْحكُه

خلائِقُ النّاسِ إضْحاكَ الأعاجيبِ

فَالحَمْدُ قَبْلُ لَهُ وَالحَمْدُ بَعدُ لها

وَلِلقَنَا وَلإدْلاجي وَتأوِيبي

وَكَيْفَ أكْفُرُ يا كافُورُ نِعْمَتَهَا

وَقَدْ بَلَغْنَكَ بي يا كُلّ مَطلُوبي

يا أيّهَا المَلِكُ الغَاني بتَسْمِيَةٍ

في الشّرْقِ وَالغرْبِ عن وَصْفٍ وتلقيبِ

أنتَ الحَبيبُ وَلَكِنّي أعُوذُ بِهِ

من أنْ أكُونَ مُحِبّاً غَيرَ محْبوبِب

المتنبي

Essay on Agriculture

حسن الحضارة مجلوب بتطرية *** و في البداوة حسن غير مجلوب

It’s unusual for me to start an article with an Arabic poem. However, this entry has its own significant and a bit extent. The translation says: the beauty of civilized people is acquired by softening them, while nomads are beautiful spontaneously.

Bedouins are nomads, Middle Eastern nomads. The character of a Bedouin is very unique. They are generous, reckless in a good way, helpful, and always do first and think later. In addition, as the poet says they are very beautiful, say gypsy beauty. However, this is not our main topic but city people are. So, what brought Bedouins in the middle of my article? AlWardi says when a Bedouin moves from desert to urban, he loses the good theme of Bedouins, and gains the bad characters of urbanism. First question popped up in my head was: “is it possible for a citizen to move to deserts?”

This article took like 4 weeks processing in my mind. The main obstacle I faced was determining the definitions. The term civilization used in the early 18th century in the form of civility. So, civility described people who lived along in cities. The term meant to classify the people into civilized and barbarian. Moreover, it is still utilized between city inhibitors in Arab countries, to differentiate between urban people and Bedouins. As we live a 300 years back behind Europe, there is no wonder the word is used as same as they did that time. This is the first time frame; we do live in medieval ages. The other one is community time frame, which is before and in early stages of discovering oil in Qatif. Let’s adjust our time machine to 1950’s and travel.

Another Day in Paradise

Human misery is made by humans' hand

خارطة العبث

Map of Lodybeydschan

كيف أقول لكِ؟

عندما كنت أصغر

عانق قلبك

قلبي

و هتكتي حجاب الستر

بين سرك

و سري

و لعبتي بخصلات

شعري،

و قلتِ:

"أحمد،

أعشق المطرَ"

 ياللعبث البريء

في عز الطفولة

قضيت الليل

أصلي

أن ينزل الغيث

يغسل روحك

و روحي،

لا تقطعي حبل الرجاءِ

كيف أقول لكِ؟

أنا الهاطل كالمطرِ

العاصف في هبوبه

الشامخ في هبوطه

و يصلي خاشعاً

أن يطوف بين محرابِ عينيك

و يقبل فيكِ كل اثنينِ

أنا المطرُ

أتحسين بالبللِ؟

كيف أقول لكِ؟

صار عمري أكبر

و سنون حياتي

حسابها أعسر

و بلغت عينايَّ

ما تحت السرةِ و أبعد

حديثك الذي كان يعتريه

الغموض

عن مغارةٍ و جبلين

و خارطةٍ تمر على أبيكِ

و أبي

صرت أهتدي

سبيله

كأني عبرته

قبلك

آلاف المراتِ

و عرفتُ أن الكنزَ

بين فخديك

مثله عند كل الفتيات.

سبتمبر 2010

All the credit of the picture goes to PikeBU

The Other Q

Freedom

I’m sorry for telling you this, my people, inside each one of us, there’s a little Wahhabi. In some cases, this little Wahhabi may enlarge to be full one. Wahhabi main theme is intolerance to others. They claim to be the one and only one correct sect in Islam. What if whole Islam was wrong? Never mind.

I could remember many times when I tell people I’m from Qatif, they say: “oh, Qasim!” And I correct it for them. Still I think inside myself, are we alike? Their Wahhabi behavior was based on 3 steps;

1. Intolerance.

2. They are 100% correct.

3. They must change the others to be just like them, peacefully or forcefully.

I think we are scoring 2 and half comparing to them. We stopped being opened-minded. We think everybody else is wrong. And we are trying to change, peacefully so far. The nonviolent approach because we are cowards. Still, is the intolerance something merging recently? I don’t know, but say 30 years ago, there was only one current.

This is an open message of hate. Feel free to sign with me: I hate my community. I’m not Jesus, neither Prophet Mohammed to forgive and talk like an idiot about peace and love. I hate you, one by one, with every attitude you claim to follow. And I can’t stand living my life according to your conditions. Because once you are allowed to control, you transform to be a cancer which controls it all. This is a crazy, but it’s true. Stop thinking big deal of yourselves while you are nothing. To put it in the correct form or false one, it doesn’t matter, as scales are really disturbed in this place. Still, let’s put it again, if you could be any good, you wouldn’t be ruled by Wahhabi’s.

It’s not correct anymore when some arrogant idiot claims we are the best. For your information, ladies and gentlemen, in last 2 decades, the Saudi government spent at least 87 billion dollar (87,000,000$) funding Wahhabi propagation abroad. The main aspect of this petro Islam, beside it is black like petroleum, is targeting mentality. Alas, I think we are a part of the abroad equation and we have been invaded inside our minds. Stop saying we are the best, we drive, think, and behave the best. Also, don’t say we are innocents and crime free. Don’t tell me we are the best race and sect. I have 2 reasons for this request, first one: you say same thing they say in Qasim and Riyadh, they are the best. So, stop talking about yourself, let the talk for others. I spend sometimes with an old Qassimi man; he keeps telling me that Qatif in the last 30 or 40 years was the most peaceful place. Now, in the recent 5 years the crime rate has been increased rapidly. Second reason is we are the worse, believe me we’re. Ok, we’re almost the worse.

Are we targeted? Sheep usually follow their shepherd as long as he/she provides them food and water. So, when you think of yourselves like sheep, you would whimper peacefully and politely, you provide wool, milk, meat, and produce more sheep. All what the shepherd need to provide is food and water. A smart shepherd would give the right amount to make sheep satisfy but in same time hungry. The problem starts later on inside the folk; some of them would hear about Hume and state that you don’t trust a shepherd. Since, at one point he/she may start slaughtering you like a mad man. The other sheep keep thinking good of the shepherd, and they may voluntarily provide some young sheep as a gift for the master.

Are we really sheep? Amm, I don’t know but I think we are sheep and cheap. I am only 25 years old, I am not sure of what I am saying. However, during the previous 20 years, after the revolution sense calmed down, all what has happened is changing dramatically to be like people in Riyadh. No need to mention that Riyadh population is a strange mixture from everywhere in Saudi Arabia, and Qassim precisely.  This is because we think less of ourselves. Folk, if you don’t agree, just don’t agree and keep thinking less of yourself. Either you are male of female look at yourself and start comparing. Gosh, we reached the level of comparing. And to put this back in the right direction I wanna say the following. A community which lacks the leadership, self-dignity, and respect to self and others, doesn’t have the right to control me. It has no right also to involve me in its crazy agenda. I am not a tool for you, idiots.

I sign below to demand living my life, peacefully and independently.

Ahmed N.